Family Physical and Emotional Safety Plan

I've characteristically always been a very docile, patient, calm and understand person, and for the most part I still am. It's actually one of the things my Wife, Jos loves me for the most. Says it helps balance her out and keep her focused. Our kids too. But since adding a third child to our family, purchasing a business, and receiving an important calling in church, added in top of being the primary caretaker during the day and whatever else, I'm beginning to experience these strange, foreign, overpowering emotions such as anger, contempt, impatience, indifference, and otherwise general irritability.

Although it's been very hard on me and my family I have no doubt that these can be respected, thanked for their service, resolved and eventually overcome given the proper approach. While I discover how to approach each emotion, it's root cause and how to work through them, I've felt inclined to create a Family Safety plan to guard against the negative affects these personal issues may have on my parenting and marriage.

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So for the hard times ahead, as I put faith in the Lord, believe in myself and my family I plan to implement the following helps.

Principles Behind Our Family Safety Plan For Carefree & Stressful Times Alike:
Anchor a strong spiritual foundation.
Take proactive measures to guard against physical abuse.
Take proactive measures to guard against emotional abuse.
Implement healthy coping mechanisms to help maintain or recenter ourselves mentally and emotionally.

Spiritually Anchored

We will pray for a spiritually uplifting and revelatory experience in our daily couples scripture study. I will also be attending the Temple weekly on Sat morning 5:30 am sessions, except when my wife and I attend together monthly.

Physical Abuse Guard

A 5 minute cool down and safety spot for each family member is established where each can stay safe from themselves, siblings or parents. This can either be used individually as needed or all at the same time. Bassinet, crib, rocking chair/bedroom, Laundry room, bathroom.

Emotional Abuse Guard

Hugs, kisses and other appropriate affection.
Saying "I love you" or giving sincere compliments
Serving each other
Shopping for simple meaningful gifts.
Weekly date nights
Monthly simple kid dates with each parent (6 planned, [paid] for and paired off)
Verbal Word Whitelist 1 focus word a week
Behavioral Whitelist 1 focus behavior a week
Whitelist can be cleared monthly reviewed and reevaluated.

Coping Mechanisms

Calming music, hypnosis session, singing hymns or primary songs, diffusing and/or topically applying essential oils, blogging, or stretching. Okay to miss one date with spouse a month.

Flexibility, accountability, and simplicity guidelines:

In order to keep the above plan from causing more stress, the following are also implemented.

Specific time / time frames set aside for dates, scripture study, temple attendance, family safety plan review, planning or discussion. General guidelines can be lightly reviewed but shouldn't be specifically planned as tasks to fill, unless a specific need arises to do so. Forgiveness for being unable to account for 2/3s of specific items given without question. This should allow room for going easy on ourselves while still accomplishing a lot of good and moving in a forward direction safety wise.

A lot of detail here because we feel it's important, but enough built in ease to make sure it's successful. We'll most likely review in a couple of months and simplify or alter our current plan but it's a good flexibly specific plan to ensure our families physical and emotional safety.

To follow my progress on these goals, visit: http://jandjparenting.blogspot.com/2016/09/accountability-updates-family-physical.html