Screen-time : A Timely Opportunity to Parent Up!

Mom's and Dad's, you deserve a break, you've earned it, heck you NEED it. I'll admit, I have this thought often.  Wouldn't it be great if there were some kind of free baby sitter that would allow you to take a nap, enjoy some free time, maybe actually get something done besides picking up toys and wiping butts!?

Surface Problem & Solution 
I work from home, so it's tempting to turn on the TV, give them the remote (who am I kidding? I'm a parent, there's not such thing as free time!) and get something productive done. Heck, maybe I can fit some work in and not feel so bad about "neglecting" my kids!

But am I actually helping anyone (myself included) by allowing them to veg in front of a TV screen; a Kindle, iPad or Tablet; a video game, app, or some other kind of screen time? Or am I just creating more work for myself - later? Am I avoiding neglect, or calling it my another name?

Maybe I'll just keep a good monitor on their content, after all there's lots of educational material, it can't be all bad I justify. But how long do I allow it? I'll be the first to admit, I'm addicted to hyper-focused productivity. Whatever your reasoning or purpose behind sitting then down in front of a screen time device, there is a seemingly universal thought along these lines that makes us feel better about it and maybe even prevents us from ever learning the real opportunity available here. Yes, it is there to distract our kids and often slow things down for us, so on the surface, screen time is an expedient solution. Keeps both me and them happy. So, "what the heck!" the details are stressing me out, so I'll deal with it later, or take it a day at a time, it's not worth getting worked up over, over-analyzing a way to get more pack for my punch. Who cares if I'm doing it right, it works for me now, so who cares! I'm starting to... So lemme venture...

Screen-time Parenting, an Overly Stressed & Stretched Out Mom's/Dad's "Alcohol"
What comes first, urgency or importance? My role as a parent, provider, husband, siblings, friend, volunteer, or myself? I seriously struggle balancing them all. Can you relate? Most likely, we all can. Trouble is, we often spend so much of our time in the urgent/not important quadrant, especially as parents, that quality takes a back burner.

"Daddy wipe me!" (Gah, wipe yourself!) "The TV's not working" (Well, then turn it off! Go play with your brother or something!) "My kindle is dead!" (Oh darn! Your life is SO hard!) "He's poopy again! (I JUST changed him, could they just NOT for 5 minutes!?) Seriously, all verbatim demands from my kids and the type of thoughts that go through my head every day. EVERY DAY! Okay so some of those are important too, but all urgent, ub-your-face stuff, when coming in an endless barrage all turns me to #ScreenTiming. (Rubbing Alcohol is the only kind of alcohol in a Mormon's household, so I gotta turn to something to keep my sanity, right?)

#ScreenTiming Responsibly
Okay, so maybe, like me, you're not ready to kick the #ScreenTiming bottle yet. But you're close to having it under control. You've adulted and did a Google search revealing that the AAP (American Association of Pediatrics) recommends the following :

Restricting media to high quality content 18 mo to 18 years.
Ages 2-5 co-screen-timing with them to explain what they're seeing and how to apply what they're learning to the real world.
Ages 6 to 18, consistent limits, boundaries, and balance within other healthy lifestyle emphasis.
Media free zones by time and/or location (meal-time & private rooms)
Maintaining open communication & respecting others online and offline.

Where to begin... 
Okay, these are great rules and I can see their value, so "where should I start?" For me it's quantity, and the hardest one - co-viewing & talking them through what they're watching as it relates to the rest of the world. Great! One more thing to do, and defeats the whole perk of giving me the time I want for myself. (Waaah. I'm in serious need of a Wambulance right now. Adulting is hard, boo!) Especially when so many high quality content based shows and apps include that element as part of their interactive experience. See I'm really good at justifying guys, I should get paid for stuff like this.

Missing the Mark Behind "High Quality" Content
"I feel comfortable letting my kid watch _______ because it's educational, interactive, clean, cute, etc., whatever." Yes I still use this argument to use Netflix as a baby sitter. But I know better. Cause the quality of the content will never rise above the meaningfulness of MY involvement in my kids lives. Entertainment is a catalyst, not replacement for connection. Using it to buy me time to do anything less than something absolutely imminent, is probably not a good investment of my time, or theirs.

When implemented consistently, what will bring about the most profitable return? Distraction, or connection? Connection will win every time! It may not be realistic to execute perfectly, but, Screen-time is a pervasive constant in most of our lives now, so let's make the best of it! We can make connection the rule instead of the exception. Going forward, screen-time will equal us-time more often than not.

Gamify: My Approach to Limit the Quantity
Yay, now we get to talk about my picture. What do toy ring stacking towers have to do with screen time and patenting? It's said that time is money, so in principle and our kids case, that's exactly how we'll approach screen time limits.

1.) Unlock your screen time access - Unless it's 6:30am, you're not permitted to leave your room. You're free to get up earlier, to play in your room, even to make a mess, but before you leave the room, you have a choice, to clean your room and unlock potential earnings toward screen time that day, or to help out around the house for free. That's yer boundary & opportunity. Cleaning up after yourself, and helping around the house are an inherent part of being grateful for the shelter we are privileged to experience, every day. But if you'd like to earn rewards towards Screen-time, it is not a privilege of necessity, but a privilege of convenience and is a want. Rough rule! they're just kids! How could you? There's no punishment here, please don't get me wrong. From as young as 2, they can learn to work for what they want and be grateful their needs are being met. Last thing our nation needs or people in general, are more children growing up with ungrateful hearts and an entitlement mindset. Break the cycle. Teach them young.

2.) Earning & Saving - Once unlocked, time intervals of 10, 20 and 30 minutes of screen time can be earned by helping me with whatever I ask. Your earnings can be all saved up, to be used as one big glop of time, or used one at a time according to your preference. Keeping the house clean has never been easier folks!

3.) Investing for "tomorrow" - Never deplete your stack. The 1 hr ring is always to stay on the bottom. However, tomorrow must be planned for and there are 2 options for earning back those rings in preparation for tomorrow. a.) You can work along side me for each increment of time, designated per ring, or you can serve someone else, like a sibling, by offering to do their most difficult chores for them to fill up your ring towers in one fell swoop. Your choice. Choose to not refill your tower, and there will be nothing to earn or spend tomorrow on screen time. Again, no punishment here, just discipline in the making; a pattern for time and money management in the years to come.


All subject to future refinement but it's where I'm starting, and so far, I feel really good about it. If you liked this article, or know of anyone who may benefit or find it of interest, please feel free to share, and/or subscribe for future content.

I wish you all success in your personal parenting adventures, as I hope you'll pray for me in mine!