The following technique came to me as I was facing a challenge this morning with both kids whining loudly at the same time. I felt like yelling at them to calm the fetch down, but upon becoming aware of the irony in my impulsive approach, there unfolded to my view an alternate approach that seems to be quite helpful for me. Hope that it may benefit any of you readers as challenges arise in your lives.
1.) Take 3 deep slow breaths to help center and calm yourself.
2.) Pretend you are an outside observer and describe out loud, or calmly to yourself, the challenge you are observing. Maybe even as if you had just entered the room and were seeing the scene the first time. I think that helps.
3.) Explore the nature and cause of the problem objectively. Tap into your intuition and extend a suggested solution that may help address the "problem".
4.) Ask, "Who will (insert solution)?"
5.) Respond to the above question, by stating your role in relationship to the person, thing, or feeling. (Parent, Spouse, Child, Owner, Protector, Master, Guardian, etc.)
6.) Offer to fulfill the need yourself in light of the context of your role.
This way my response, in contrast of my impulsive reaction, can become an act of loving kindness.
To illustrate this mornings experience, I'll fill in some specifics.
1.) I took 3 deep breaths.
2.) Pretend I was walking into a room of someone else's kids and out loud like the crazy person I am sometimes, "The children's voices are elevated, and a sort of restlessness exists in their behavior.
3.) Perhaps, they are in need of some undivided attention. Intuition suggests this.
4.) Who will give the children a few moments of undivided attention?
5.) In response: "I am the children's father."
6.) "I will give them my undivided attention for 15 minutes and re-evaluate."
This of course can be applied to any challenge in the context of any role. Good luck, and may we all give more loving kindness to those around us.
No comments:
Post a Comment